Title: Loneliness and Nicotine
Theme: 061. Disguises, Yesung/Yesung
Genre: little angst
Summary: You aren't Jongwoon anymore. You are Yesung and this changes everything.
It's your way of protection. Just as simple. No one is allowed to see your face of fear, of sadness nor angry, even if they would notice it, because all that you are allowed to do is smile in front of the cameras, of the fans and even for your bandmates. Because this is all that you can do.
So you sigh and put your hands in your pockets trying to find your now newest addiction, the cigarette, before lighting one up and pulling all the nicotine in your lungs. It hurts.
You are alone in Super Junior's dorm roof, so you are allowed to cry and to feel cold, to stay drowning in the drugs that you are inhaling and suddenly you just think about jumping from the roof to die.
Who would care?
But you sigh again thinking how difficult it would be if you survived.
"Yesung hyung," came a soft whisper behind you. So you dry your tears, throw the cigarette away and simply turn smiling to the worried man who called you.
"What's up Ryeowook?" You ask and don't even feel your voice failing became it's so easy and normal to pretend to be Yesung.
"Were you smoking?" Ryeowook asks worriedly taking two steps to approach you. "I asked hyung to stop."
"Sorry Wook. I will." You smile; one of your fake smiles. You don't even remember the last time that you truly smiled. You approach the eternal magnae and putting an arm around his shoulders you leave the roof.
It's a fake promise what you said to Ryeowook, you wouldn't stop the nicotine. This is the only thing, plus your loneliness, that makes you the real Jongwoon.
And you miss that one.
A/N sorry for any mistakes and for being so small. comment ^^