Title: 到了明天 | When It's Tomorrow
Theme: 009. Coffee, Eunhyuk/Donghae
Author: polari_s, the end was made by mi_nnie thanks for the help wook ah~
Pairing: Donghae/Eunhyuk and hints of Kyuhyun/Sungmin
Raiting: PG-15 (for meaning sex)
Genre: angst, drama, fluff,
Summary: Coffee is the new addiction to Hyukjae, no more srawberry milk, untill the other day rises.
AN: lee_jinki, this is the redaction that I and mi_nnie talked a lot of : D/ it was our little "secret" \2hihi
we really really really love you~
Hyukjae was feeling butterflies in his stomach while he was there, in the empty park at 9PM waiting for Donghae. Actually, the younger one said to him to do that, and how could Hyukjae say "no" to Donghae? But what was making Hyukjae more nervous was that Donghae said that he wanted to tell something very very important to Hyukjae and this one didn't know what it could be.
It was being already hard times as Donghae was dating Jessica, and the sudden thought of Donghae telling him that both broke up cheer him up a little as he waited more while walking in circus in the still empty park. Hyukjae of course liked Donghae, and so much that almost all of Super Junior's members knew about that, with the exception of Donghae, of course, but he couldn't think in a way to tell Donghae how much he loves the other, because it looks so much wrong, specially with Donghae already having Jessica by his side.
Then the butterfly in Hyukjae's stomach seemed to double in number as Donghae was walking in his direction smiling making this one to smile too. Hyukjae loved him so much that a warm feeling in his heart grow up with Donghae's simply expression, but soon that warm went out as Hyukjae saw the Jessica and Donghae's ring still in Donghae's finger.
"Hyuk, I really needed to talk to you." Donghae said with a big smile, but with his voice a little worried. "Let's walking."
"Ok." Hyukjae said still smiling then walking by Donghae's side in the middle of some trees.
"Look Hyuk. I..." Donghae started a little uncertain. "I know for so much time and... You are my best friend. You know that, don't you?"
"Yes, so do you." Hyukjae said shy still looking to the floor.
"So Hyuk... I wanted to tell you first."
"Tell me." Hyukjae said a little above from a whisper, his gaze finding Donghae's.
"It's that..." Donghae started looking away while they stopped. "I am with Jessica and... I think that soon we will get married, so... I wanted your approval."
"Married?" Hyukjae asked. "Isn't all this to much fast?"
"It's that my mom is pushing me and... I thought that it was in time for get married and as Jessica is really nice and I like her." Donghae said still without looking at Hyukjae.
"Do you really love her?" Hyukjae asked looking away.
"I... Yes." Donghae said trying to find Hyukjae's gaze.
"If she will make you happy then I don't see what could stop you." Hyukjae said looking again to Donghae and then smiling lightly.
"Really?" Donghae asked, his smile going back to his face.
"Of course." one more smile.
"Thanks Hyukjae." Donghae whispered hugging the older.
And Hyukjae accepted the hug, his little heart inside was burning and he felt his eyes also starting to burn, but he held the tears for late. He wouldn't cry in front of Donghae, not when he looked to happy.
"I.. I will get home now." Hyukjae said freeing of the hug.
"No! I need to tell everyone about my engagement so everyone is waiting us in a restaurant." Donghae said already pulling Hyukjae's hand leading him to his car.
It hurted. They were all in the restaurant and Hyukjae once again heard that. Heard Donghae telling it so happily, not just for Super Junior's members, but to almost everyone in SM company. He was holding Jessica's hand while he announced and everyone looked very proud of them and when Donghae's eyes met Hyukjae's, the older smiled, once again a fake smile. Inside Hyukjae was crying, bleeding, it hurted.
Hyukjae didn't know how he could stand there for at least two hours while everyone were drinking and laughing. His mood wasn't good and all those people were driving Hyukjae crazy so he went to the bathroom, there he found himself alone and sighed relieved. Once again he felt the tears wanting to fall, but he held them, it wasn't time for it, specially because Donghae came in the bathroom in that time.
"Hyuk~!" Donghae said happily. "I didn't see you having fun. What's up?"
"Nothing Hae." Hyukjae said smiling lightly. "I'm just tired. I think that I will go home now."
"Oh. Ok then." Donghae said a little sad looking to Hyukjae who left the bathroom.
Now was the time. Hyukjae was with his head in his pillow and his tears were falling over and over, there wasn't nothing that he could do to stop his sobs, to stop his tears, to stop his chest from hurt. He would just accept that pain, once he would have to live with this for now on. Listening the front door of Super Junior's dorm open, Hyukjae tried to hide his sobs to no one come to his room. Then crying more Hyukjae just fell asleep, his chest still in pain.
Hyukjae woke up few moments later. The clock in his nightstand was showing that was still 2am and feeling his throat dry, Hyukjae got up feeling now his head in pain, he went to the kitchen, once again crying, to get some strawberry milk. But entering in the kitchen he saw who he didn't want to. Not because he hated that person, inverse, he loved him, but he didn't want to him now, with his eyes and nose red of crying for the said person.
"Hyuk!" Donghae said. He was sitting in a chair with his hand holding a cup of coffee in the table, his eyes blurred. Donghae was obvious drunk. "Co-Come here!" he asked almost falling of the chair while waving to Hyukjae who didn't move and kept crying silently. "Why... do you cry?" Donghae whispered a little worried behind that face covered with drink.
"You won't understand." Hyukjae said and turned to go back to his room.
"Wait!" Donghae said rising and grabbing Hyukjae's wrist. "Tell me."
"You are drunk Hae." Hyukjae whispered, his face so close to Donghae's face that he could feel the smell of alcohol under the coffee's.
"N-No... They gave me some... coffee." Donghae also whispered dizzying a little putting his face forward and backward of Hyukjae's. "I've already told you that... you have great lips?"
"Don't make this hard Hae." the older cried. "Please..."
Then Donghae just got closer to Hyukjae and crashed their lips. Hyukjae just felt those wished lips on his and didn't make a move while Donghae was licking his bottom lip. When Hyukjae opened his mouth to protest Donghae put his tongue inside of the warm mouth and all that Hyukjae could do was to push Donghae closer and accept that kiss, his lips were getting hard against Donghae's making Hyukjae feel the taste of alcohol covered by coffee's, that addicted taste and he wanted so much more, he always did, and by taking this now was getting hard, because he knew that Donghae wasn't just his, not anymore. Feeling the salty taste of tears, Donghae stopped the kiss and looked with drunk eyes to Hyukjae's sad ones.
Hyukjae couldn't do more then let go of Donghae's waist and run to his bedroom leaving a confused and still drunk Donghae behind. When he get in his bed Hyukjae cried more untill he slept, the taste of coffee still in his red and hurt lips.
In the next morning, when Hyukjae found Donghae's sleepy eyes, he could see that the other seemed to don't realize what happened last night, but Hyukjae couldn't stay close to him without thought about those soft and coffee-ed lips, it was too much to him, so he pushed Donghae away for at least two months. It was horrible the situation after those days, but as Donghae was so worried with his plans for the wedding, he didn't realize Hyukjae's red eyes in all the days, his suddenly disappearances and his now new addiction; the coffee.
Couldn't make sense as Hyukjae kept drinking coffee instead of his strawberry milk, but it started in the third day after he kissed Donghae, or better, Donghae kissed him. The coffee would remind him of that night, it was the night that he get depressive and it hurted to feel every time he drunk the coffee those bad feelings. But that taste was the only to remind him that he did it, that those desired lips were against his, that their body were close, and even that Donghae was drunk, Hyukjae wanted to remember of this forever. And it was good that he didn't chose the alcohol to do this.
It was three months by now. All Super Junior's members were worried for Hyukjae; well, kind of all, Donghae was running with his things of his wedding, wich would be in three weeks. It came a day that umma-Teuk couldn't take it longer and went to talk with Hyukjae. The younger boy was in his room, sitting in his bed, his eyes were red (Teuk would think of how much a person could cry) and in his hand was the thing that now he drunk more times than Yesung, his beloved coffee.
"Why are you like this?" Teuk asked approaching to his bed making Hyukjae to look at him when he sat by his side.
"Nothing." he whispered looking away drinking one more gulp of the coffee and letting a new tear to fall of his eye.
"I know what you have, I just wished you could say it to me." Teuk said in the same level of voice touching the younger's shoulder making Hyukjae to look at him again.
"Do you really know?"
"Of course. It started when Donghae said he would marry. I know that you can be a little jealous, but it's Donghae's wedding, and as you are one of his best friends, you need to support him, it's the best day of his life."
"Jealousy? It's just... Sorry hyung." Hyukjae said looking away accepting Teuk's words. Thinking in that form, he was with jealous, but of Jessica, not for their wedding by itself.
"You just have to stay by his side and as he is Donghae, he is little lost with the wedding's stuff."
"Thanks hyung." Hyukjae said looking at Teuk's smile.
"You're welcome. Now I'll buy some coffee, with you and Yesung drinking so much..."
But then Teuk's words weren't anymore entering in his ear, Hyukjae was with his head away thinking that if it was Donghae's day, then he would have sure to be the best.
In the next morning, when Hyukjae woke up and went trying to find Donghae, Heechul told him that he had gone to see his suit and with a getting a warning that he was needing to do the same, Hyukjae left the dorm. He went to where Heechul told him that Donghae was and when he got there he stared at the window seeing Donghae inside the shop. He was wearing a simple suit, but it made him shine and soon that Hyukjae felt some tears in his eyes, he stopped himself of doing that. He needed to be there with Donghae.
When Hyukjae entered in the shop, Donghae saw him at the time and ran hugging him tight.
"I was missing you Hyuk!"
"I didn't let you." the older said still with Donghae in his shoulders.
"But I couldn't see you anymore!" Donghae said freeing Hyukjae and leading him to where he was trying some suits. "You need to help me with those things."
The day passed with Hyukjae helping Donghae to chose his suit, and to himself too, seeing some details of the church, the food and some other stuff. Hyukjae was happy after all. Of course that it hurted him, but seeing Donghae so much happy for this, trying to make sure that everything was perfect, also let him happy. It was already 8PM so they went back to Hyukjae's dorm.
Entering there they just sat in the couch and saw some movies with Sungmin and Kyuhyun who were watching there. It was all being fun and cool.
"Hyuk?" Donghae asked a little shy getting Hyukjae's attention from the movie.
"What Hae?" said Hyukjae looking at him a little worried.
"Do you want to be my best man?"
So the image of him standing by Donghae's side flashed in Hyukjae's eyes. He would have a chance to be by his side, to be important in Donghae's important day and that pulled a bright smile in his face.
"Of course yes Hae."
But at night, when everyone were sleeping and Donghae wasn't there anymore, Hyukjae went to the kitchen and taking a cup of coffee he cried more, but there was a little smile after all.
The next three weeks passed as a flash followed with a smiler Hyukjae and happier Donghae. The cups of coffee were reduced to only one in the morning as Hyukjae didn't need anymore to remember along the day of Donghae and they were so close that both could forget that Donghae would get married. It was a lie if Hyukjae said that those followed weeks weren't sad, 'cause he cried on those days, but of course, in the other morning everything would be "good" as it was before Jessica.
Then the night before the wedding had come and it was planned to make Donghae's single party. At the very first moment Hyukjae didn't want to go, but after Donghae begging for him do not leave him alone, Hyukjae went to an bar, where all the members of super junior were, chatting and drinking a lot. Kyuhyun and Sungmin were chatting with Henry, Yesung and Ryeowook, those five made Hyukjae feel jealous about how they were settled. Sungmin was in Kyuhyun's lap, with an big smile on his face, and Ryeowook was in the middle of Henry and Yesung, with his head on Henry's shoulder, trying to take a nap, with Yesung was making circles with his hand in his thighs.
Donghae was the most drunk, bouncing up and down around the members, asking they if they were having fun as him. When he saw that Hyukjae was sat alone in a corner, he went to him and started to talk with him, then they order more drinks and everyone could see that Hyukjae's eyes were shining, and after so much time, he was with an true smile on his face.
After the party, Hyukjae was the one with the charge to leave Donghae's back to the dorm; which was more difficult than he expected, since donghae was so much drunk and didn't stoped to laugh at everything he saw. They entered the silent dorm, that was no longer silent since Donghae was telling Hyukjae something about one aquarium that he saw when he was a kid; Hyukjae giggled at the act of the other and lead they to Donghae's room. He waited for Donghae to came back from a shower, actually, he made Donghae get one, since he was so much drunk. After pulled the other in the bed, Donghae grabbed his wrist, making he turning to face him. Their gazes met, and Donghae smiled a shy smile that made Hyukjae's heart melt.
"Can you... Stay with me?" Hyukjae just smiled and lay in the bed with him, Donghae wrapped his hands around his waist, facing the older's back, pulling him closer and intercalating their fingers. Hyukjae closed his eyes, enjoying the moment that he knew that was the first and the last.
"Yes, Hae, what's wrong?" Donghae didn't answered him for at least five minutes, Hyukjae was about to ask him again when Donghae suddenly spoke.
"Why... Is my heart beating so faster?" Hyukjae eyes opened in a flash, as he could feel his own heart starting to race. He turned to face donghae, they were so close that he could feel Donghae's breathe in his face, making him nervous about the moment.
"I don't know Hae, it's your heart, you should know... I mean, I can't answer this for you" Donghae put his hand in Hyukjae's cheek, and before he could say anything, Donghae pulled his lips agains his. This time, both of them were nervous, both of them didn't know if what was happening was wrong or right, both of them didn't know what they were doing. Hyukjae left Donghae's tongue slide inside his mouth, and this time the kiss don't tasted like coffee, he could feel the taste of alcohol against it, but not so much, it has a different taste this time, but Hyukjae himself couldn't determinate what was. "Donghae..." Hyukjae moaned as Donghae started to remove his clothes and shock his lips in his neck, making he feel spasms around all his body, "Donghae... I- I love you." He felt Donghae's body tense, and felt his own eyes filling with tears again. Donghae kissed the tears away and smiled at him.
Soon, their clothes are on the floor, only the sounds of moans and skin against skin could be heard, they're in extasy, they didn't care if someone could heard them (and actually, Kyuhyun and Sungmin are smart, they knew what was happening, Sungmin just smiled at Kyuhyun's chest and whispered an 'I Know they'll be fine, Kyu ah"), they were having their own moment at their new own little world, no thoughts, just the feeling of have it happening, at least for Hyukjae's part, because he can't say if Donghae's still drunk or not.
They falling onto the bed, heavy breathes, hearts still racing, no words are necessary in this moment. Hyukjae felt his eyes teared again, and was about to get up and go to his own bedroom, when he felt Donghae's arms around him, making their bodies closer. Hyukjae closed his eyes, letting his tears falling, as Donghae put his chin in his shoulder and whispered softly in his ear: "I think I love you, Hyuk. That's why my heart is beating faster," and they fall asleep, with their minds fully of questions that only themselves could answer.
"Are you sure, Min-hyung? It would be weird to them, no?" Kyuhyun asked, unsure of Sungmin's idea of wake up them, was five in the morning and Sungmin was afraid of someone find both Hyukjae and Donghae together
"If we don't do this, things would be worse if Teuk hyung or another member" he paused, "or all the members come to wake Donghae and find him with Hyukie, don't you think that way?" Sungmin started to knock at the door, and when nobody came, he pushed the knob and found the couple cuddling in the bed, Hyukjae in Donghae's arms, sleeping peacefully, he didn't said nothing, but the scene in front of his eyes hurts his heart, even Hyukjae didn't tell him about his feelings towards Donghae, he always felt that he loved him, and always saw confusion in Donghae's eyes when he looked at the other. He walked in the direction of the bed, stopping in Hyukjae's side, and poked his arms; His eyes opened lazily, just to his face turn into shock and confusion. He was about to say something but looked at Donghae's sleeping face, and smiled, flashes of the last night popping in his mind, somehow he felt guilty, guilty of let all happen, but he remembered Donghae's last words to him, and felt his heart to ache, because he know that he'll never get the answer of this thought.
Sungmin nodded looking at him and exited the room with Kyuhyun, letting Hyukjae change his clothes. He got up of Donghae's bed and picked his clothes, after putting his clothes again, he sat onto the corner of the bed and started to play with Donghae's hair.
"If it is for you to get married today, I wish I could made the time to stop last night, I didn't wanted you to know, but I didn't wanted to let off of your arms, I wanted, and I still do, you for me, because I love you Hae. And is because that I love you, that I wish all the happiness of the world for you and Jessica, she's a lucky girl." He felt an hot teardrop in his face and kissed Donghae's forehead, and exited the room before he started to cry more.
After take a short and cold shower, he went to the kitchen's dorm, where Sungmin and Kyuhyun were having an cup of coffee. Sungmin pointed to him to take a sit, and he did as well filling a cup with coffee. They started a conversation, or at least Kyuhyun and Sungmin, because he forgot that the couple is to smart to discover his feelings, even if it wasn't that obvious, but he knows that Sungmin can study him like if he was a book. They stopped to talk when everyone woke, and when Donghae entered the kitchen, Hyukjae only gave him a small smile and looked at his cup of coffee, listening to him saying about the last night, thanking the members of the party and gave his goodbye, going to his mother's house, and soon, the preparatives started and they found all Super Junior's member in a van, going to the church. Sungmin in one side of Hyukjae, holding his hands, and at the other side was Kyuhyun, looking down, imagining how painfull was see your lover getting married with another person and without the power of say one word.
The church was fully with SM members and of both Super Junior and So Nyuh Shi dae's managers, there's just six member of the nine of So nyuh Shi Dae as Taeyeon and Yuri were at the dorm helping Jessica with the final preparatives. On the other hand, all the member of Super junior were in the church, but Sungmin's eyes were focused in just two of the others, Hyukjae and Donghae, the last trying to fix his own tie, but failed and asked Hyukjae's help, the other helped him with trembling hands and smiled at him. Soon, after many random conversations, all the people in the church stand up and the bride entered in the corridor with a big smile on her face, that in Hyukjae and Sungmin's point of view didn't have any special thing, even a single shine in her eyes, totally different from Donghae, that surprising wasn't smiling at all, of course he was, but isn't his best smile, the biggest one, was a strange and small smile, like if he wasn't in the church, but lost at his own thoughts.
Hyukjae tried to hard to not cry, even his mind was aching, and he was feeling his heart breaking at everything that was happening, he didn't cried, he keeped his best gummy smile in his face, giving his support to his best friend, wanting him to be happy, even he loved him too much to support all of it, he was there, smiling. Until the time for the 'yes' came, and he felt his mind going black, he didn't could listen anything more than his own heart, even his thoughts he couldn't listen. As a flash, he listened the pastor finish his sentence and Jessica saying her yes; he felt his heart ache more and looked at the floor, waiting Donghae say his yes, so it could finally finish and he could go home, but his eyes went opened when he listened Donghae just say a "I'm sorry" and run off of the church.
Jessica wasn't crying at all, she just looked shocked at the scene that was running in front of her eyes. Hyukjae studied the church, searching of the puppy eyes of Sungmin, that was facing him back, but didn't said nothing, just whispered something into Kyuhyun's ear and both of them helped Leeteuk and Taeyeon to calm all the people in the church.
Donghae ran in to the streets, with his eyes full of tears, sobbing and crying his own heart out, feeling that his senses aren't in his body; he took a cab and went back to the dorm, when he arrived he ran to the rooftop, feeling the cold air hit his face, he stopped at the corner of the rooftop and looked at Seoul's lights, letting the tears wet his face. And so he cried, he cried too much, he cried until his face were all red and his head was aching, he cried feeling his heart in pain, and he screamed, to pulled all of the doubtful feelings off of his body. After a long time crying, he closed his eyes, feeling the cool breeze against him, letting a small smile play with his lips.
"I'm a fool, since the beginning, I was a completely fool." He was lost in his own thoughts, with some tears running in his face, hands at the little wall, still smiling. "Why I've took too long to discover it? God, it hurts so much, my heart hurts now, w-why I've took that long to have all the sure about my feelings?"
"And for the world's sake, why I've just realized it when I was about to get married?" Donghae didn't realize that the rooftop door opened and Hyukjae was at it, hands on his knees, heavy breath, red eyes, trying to calm himself down, he looked up at Donghae and was about to walk to him, when Donghae started to talk again;
"I realize that I wasn't In love at all with Jessica when were missing just three weeks for my wedding... And it was so obvious, but being the way I am, I didn't realize in time, I was with doubts, with questions in my mind, and tried to push them away, but was hard... so, I just had all the sure of the world yesterday" he sobbed, and Hyukjae felt his heart start to race, he walked a few steps, approaching to Donghae, but once again, he started to talk to the wind again
"My best friend. I didn't realize why he was crying those last months, I didn't realize why he pushed me away those months, I'm fool, he loved me for all this years... And I was slow at realize that I loved him back, I've made him suffer, and I suffered in silence, thinking that I was In love with Jessica, when my heart didn't beated faster when I was with her, but at the single moments that I've spent with Hyukie, was like my heart was about to blow up, why..." he opened his eyes and let a deep breath leave his lungs, "why didn't I realize that... all this time, I was in love with him?"
"Hae.." Hyukjae whispered softly, walking in Donghae's direction, making the other face him, and almost at the same time, Donghae fell into his arms and started to sob at his shoulder, whispering 'I'm sorry' repeatedly, over and over again, making him crying too. Donghae looked up at him, making theirs lips met, in a rush and full mouthed kiss, a angry one; Donghae's hand ran around him, one in his hair, pulling his hair, and the other at his waist, caressing it. Hyukjae locked his hands in Donghae's neck, pulling him more closer, the kiss are different, not about the taste, but all itself, he could feel that was a truly kiss, he could feel his and Donghae's tears agains his skin.
They break apart, fighting for air and looked into each other's gaze, then Donghae hugged Hyukjae and whispered into his ear:
"You destroyed my wedding, but you are the one that makes my heart beat faster, the one who makes me feel good, the one who makes me melt, and I was the one that was too lazy to realize that... That... I've always loved you, but I thought that was in a friend way, that's why you're my best friend, but," He stopped and sat on the floor, and so did Hyukjae, he sat in front of Donghae, who grabbed his hands and started to play with his fingers, he smiled at the scene and Donghae take a deep breath, but not looking at his eyes, instead, he keeped his look to their hands.
"Look Hyuk, what I feel for you, is, somehow, very different that what I've felt for Jessica, w-what I've felt for her, is something that I can say that was just for the appearance, she was beautiful, so I felt attracted to her." he took a deep breath and looked into Hyukjae eyes, even that was dark at the rooftop, the moon was atop of them making the soft lightness bright above the two. "Do you forgive me?" he placed both his hand in each side of Hyukjae's face, making their gazes locked into each other.
"For what?" Hyukjae asked, closing his eyes, enjoying the heat of Donghae's hand, feeling shivers around his body.
"For take too long, for made you wait all those years an-"
"You don't have to ask for my forgive, I was the one who took too long to confess, I've held my feelings, because like you, I thought that was just a friend feeling, and back in the day that you told me about your wedding, I thought that you would say that you two broke up, so then I could confess to you, but I couldn't do nothing, because... Because I loved you, and I still love, so I wanted your happiness... I thought that seeing you happy, I would be able to be happy too, But I was wrong." he smiled a little and opened his eyes, just to be surprised by Donghae's lips close to his own, he looked at Donghae's eyes as their lips met in a passionate and this time calm and sweet kiss. Donghae pulled him into his embrace, making the older sit between his legs and put his head at his chest, so he could listen to his heartbeats.
"I'm sorry about all those things, but, can I start all over again... By your side?" Donghae asked, a smile playing in his lips, one of his hands intertwined with Hyukjae's and the other caressing his hair. Hyukjae smiled and looked at him, his smile growing as twice as Donghae as he responded:
"I would be committing the biggest mistake of my life, if I tell you no," he sighed, "I love you, Hae."
"I love you too, Hyuk." Donghae kissed his hair and they stayed like this, just feeling the warm feeling of each others embrace.
At the stair, another couple was sat, Sungmin has his head in Kyuhyun's shoulder, while the later has one hand caressing his waist. The couple brought Hyukjae from the church to the dorm, was now at the stairs just to keep sure that everything was okay with both Hyukjae and Donghae. Sighing, Kyuhyun kissed Sungmin's hair, making the older look at him and he kissed his pink lips, making him smile, when they break apart.
"I told you that they would be okay, Kyuhyun ah~ You should trust more on me." Sungmin giggled and Kyuhyun caressed his cheek, making him blush and hide his face in the curve of his neck.
"That's why I love you, and I love you so much." Sungmin looked at him and smiled shy, "I love you too, Kyu. And I'm glad they're fine now."
"Me too. And Jessica, is she fine with this? You know... Donghae ran off the church and no one, just us, knew the reason"
"Jessica? Kyu, you know that I don't give a damn about her."
"You're mean, Minnie"
"I learned with my evil kyu" Sungmin giggled and Kyuhyun kissed him again.